How To Prepare For Baby With Couples Counseling

 First time expectant parents have a lot to look forward to when their little bundle of joy arrives. Obviously life is going to change dramatically, and much happiness lies ahead. While those about to become parents usually realize there are some challenges ahead, their focus is often so much on the expected baby that they can easily lose sight of each other. That's normal, but the hurdles a couple will face as parents will seem a lot lower if they are prepared for the impact of parenthood on their relationship. With couple counselling, parents to be can improve their communication and be better prepared to face the challenges of parenthood side by side.

While many new parents have some idea what to expect from their baby, they can be quite surprised by what can happen to their relationship. Sleep deprivation and the overwhelming needs of a new baby push most relationships down the priority list. Here are few ideas to help your relationship stay strong as you adjust to being parents.

• Acknowledge that the first few months will be intense and challenging. Forgive each other in advance for any hurt feelings that can arise from the stress.

• Talk about what sort of help you might need and you are both comfortable asking to help you. Maybe certain family members are eager to stay with you in the early days, but this only works well if both partners are happy to have that individual in the home during this time. If one finds it invasive or stressful, talk about how that person can help without actually staying in the home.

• Discuss some parenting books. Don't view any of them as the only right way to do things, but talk together about how you feel about different approaches to sleep and feeding.
• Make a date to spend some time alone together when you've had a chance to settle into

your new routine. Before baby arrives, choose a date a few months after the due date and arrange for a trusted relative or friend to mind the baby for a couple of hours. Try to keep up regular date nights where you can focus on each other away from the baby, even if it is only once a month for the first six months.

• Attend a few sessions of couple counseling before baby arrives to prepare for the impact on your relationship and learn more about supporting each other as new parents.

Yes, a new baby is a wonderful, joyful thing, but parenting is still hard work. The stakes seem so high, and many new parents put themselves under tremendous pressure to be perfect. The baby's needs are so intense at first that both partners may feel neglected by the other. It is normal for any major life change to bring some stress, but with some preventative couple counselling parents can prepare themselves not only for the new baby, but for their new roles parenting together.

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Babies - How to Get Your Children Excited About the New Arrival

The sudden appearance of a new baby can be rough on the
other children in the family. Daily routines are disrupted and

suddenly mom and dad are too busy to pay attention to

older siblings. Worst of all, the new baby is the instant star
of the family - the center of attention. The adorable baby is
the big attraction for everyone from mom and dad, to visiting
relatives, to casual acquaintances bumped into at the mall,
right down to strangers on the street. Everyone is talking
baby talk, cooing at the new baby, and making a fuss over
the newborn. The older kids may feel shunted aside and
resentful. This is especially true for the displaced former
baby of the family.

Given these natural reactions, anything that you can do to
prepare your other children for the new arrival will ease the
transition. Everything you can do to involve your kids in
advance and to get them to actually look forward to the birth
will make a big difference in how they experience it. It might
even help establish a stronger brother or sister bond with
the new baby that will contribute to the lasting closeness of
a positive sibling relationship.

 Here are some simple ideas that expectant parents might
try, to smooth the road ahead for their other children. Most
are common knowledge or simply common sense, but
sometimes too easily forgotten amid all the excitement and
activity surrounding the birth of a new baby. A few might be
new ideas that are worth a try. A little advance thought and
preparation may go a long way towards making the
"blessed event" a blessing for the ENTIRE family. Hopefully,
you'll be inspired to try some of these ideas, so here goes.

Let your other kids in on the secret as soon as the
pregnancy is confirmed, well before it is obvious just by
looking at mom. Even with your youngest children, try to give
them some understanding of the changes that mom is
going through and what they mean. Check out your local
public library. It should have books geared to all different
ages that can explain, in terms that children can
understand, the biological process of having a baby. Picture
books about baby animals may also help crystalize the
concept and relate it to something your kids have already
experienced, like watching newborn kittens, for example.

The library or local bookstore should also be able to
guide you to works of fiction, including picture books for
preschoolers, that focus on the arrival of a new baby in the
family and such issues as jealousy and feelings of neglect.
Quiet parent-child story reading times can provide an ideal
opportunity to prepare young children for changes that are
on the way and to reassure them of their own importance
and irreplaceable position in the family. Discuss things
openly and answer your kids' questions.

Encourage your children to think about life with the new
baby and how family routines will be altered. Coax your kids
to develop their own lists of things that will be fun about
having a new baby in the house - for example, they can push
the baby carriage and help dress the baby. Help them think
about all the things that they'll be able to share with and
teach the baby as he or she grows up and how important
their role will be as a "big brother" or "big sister".

 At other times, let them focus on coming up with ways that
they can help care for the baby or have them think of things
they can do around the house to ease the burden on mom
and dad. Also, take this opportunity to make your kids aware
that babies require gentle handling and a quiet
environment. You might even use a baby doll with your
younger children to role play baby's diaper changing and
feeding.

 Nurture the feeling that every family member is of equal
importance and that each occupies a special niche and has
special contributions to make. No one is being replaced by
the baby and the family cannot be whole unless EVERYONE
is a part of it. If your kids internalize this belief, you may be
able to avoid some of the trauma and the understandable
resentment toward this little stranger who has stolen
mommy and daddy's hearts. The better your children are
prepared for the impending event, the better they'll be able to
cope with it emotionally.

 As part of that preparation process, from time to time plan
special activities with your kids that relate to babies. For
example, they might draw
pictures of babies or collect baby
photos from magazines and create a collage. Sit down and
go through photo albums of your kids' baby pictures and
reminisce with them about their own arrivals into the world.
Re-tell any family anecdotes surrounding their births. Teach
your children lullabies that they can sing to the baby, plus
finger games and "peek-a-boo" games to entertain their
new brother or sister.

 Arts and crafts projects can furnish a special parent-child
discussion and sharing time and may sometimes revolve
around preparations for the new baby. Kids can make
pictures to hang in the baby's room, or create a baby-safe
mobile to hang over the baby's crib, or draw scenes in which
they imagine their lives with the new baby - rocking the baby
in their arms, and so forth.

 Let the kids be involved in every facet of the preparations
that you yourself are making for the baby's arrival. Your kids
can help you repaint the nursery or paint a mural on the
nursery wall, and help you pick out baby furniture, bedding
and nursery decorations. They can choose baby clothes that
appeal to them. All of these things can later give the
children pride and a sense of importance and inclusion in the baby's
life. When grandma says "What a cute bib the baby's
wearing," your preschooler can say "I picked it!"

 In addition, make your children key members of the family
committee that chooses a name for the new baby. Keep the
kids involved and actively participating and then, as the birth
becomes imminent, dad and the kids may even conspire to
prepare some extra, special, secret surprises for mom and
the baby, like buying or creating a special keepsake item or
putting together a "welcome home" party.

 In short, it's always worth the effort to do as much as you
can to get your kids involved in and excited about the arrival
of a new baby. Include them in every step of the process.
The more they feel that it is THEIR baby, too, the more
positive their attitudes will be towards the baby. In this way,
you can try to minimize the natural insecurities and feelings
of jealousy that go with the territory.

 The suggestions mentioned in this article can help lay the
groundwork for good sibling relationships but, of course,
you can't rest on your laurels once the baby is born. After the
baby  arrives, try to do everything you can to set aside some
special time each day that's just for you and each of your
other children. Offer them special little treats or outings or
surprises, and encourage grandma and grandpa to do the
same. To reduce jealousy, give your kids pride in the things
that they CAN do that the baby can't do, like dressing
themselves or enjoying a movie or reciting their ABCs.
Continue along the path that you started on months earlier -
reassure your kids that each of them is just as important as
the baby is, so that they won't feel that they must compete for
your love and attention.

Good luck and oh, by the way, congratulations!

Barbara Freedman-De Vito is a professional storyteller and artist. Visit [http://www.babybirdproductions.com/index.html]Kids T-Shirts, children's clothing, and adult's clothes decorated with pictures and words

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A new year full of new possibilities!

As we bring 2013 to an end, I am so grateful for all the new people creating this company has brought into my life. For all the women and families I was able to serve I say thank you. I look forward to bringing in the new year with the opportunity to service you in a greater capacity. Happy New Year. Happy 2014!

Baby's First Christmas - How to Make it a Milestone to Remember

Baby's first Christmas is one of the most memorable moments in your life as parents.  It's a milestone that many parents cherish and therefore it's important that you make your baby's first Christmas a great one.  Follow these great tips to make sure your little one's first Christmas is one to mark your formation as a new family.

Make Memories:

Many parents find that their fondest memories of their children are those from holidays past.  Likewise, many adults feel they their best memories from childhood are from the holidays.  Christmas is a great time to make memories.  When family and friends gather together to celebrate there is bound to be fantastic memories. 

Make sure your baby knows how happy you were to celebrate your first Christmas as a family by taking tons of pictures.  Be sure to include family and friends in your photos.  Another great way to make memories is to have everyone sign a Christmas toy or write a few words about their experiences with your family during the holiday season.  Wrap these all up and let your son or daughter read them when they are grown.

Go Back to the Past:
 
Think back to the good ol' days when you still believed in the magic of Christmas.  What were your favorite memories?  What didn't you like?  Anything you couldn't imagine doing without??  Consider all of these things and let your babies Christmas be a reflection of everything you loved.

Create Traditions:

Want to make a special family tradition that you can call your very own?  Your baby's first Christmas is the best time to start.  Not sure how to start a tradition?  A tradition can be something as simple as combining parts of Christmas from your childhood and your partner's childhood.  Traditions don't need to be elaborate, what is important is that they represent the beauty of Christmas and that they create fond memories for your child to pass on to his or her children.

Capture Memories:

The holidays are hectic and it's not easy to sit down and really appreciate your baby's first Christmas.  If you don't' have one already, begin a scrap book that documents each Christmas.  You can dedicate this scrapbook solely to the holidays and every year you can add to it.  Be sure to include pictures, cards, or any other sentimental things you feel your child should cherish forever.  Once your little one is old enough, they can help you continue the scrapbooking tradition.

Decorate for Baby:

You may not have put much effort into decorating when it was the two of you, but now that your family has expanded you should consider investing in some Christmas decorations.  Your child will no doubt be interested by the sparkling lights and the bright colors creating a true wonderland for them.  Be careful when choosing decorations and placing them.  You want to make sure baby can't get hurt so make sure all lights and decorations are well out of reach.  Leave only baby safe decorations like Christmas stuffed animals in places they can easily get to.

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Benefits of Prenatal Yoga

The timeless practice of Yoga is endlessly beneficial to everyone. Continuing with your Yoga
practice during pregnancy is absolutely recommended as long as you pay close attention to your limits and body! Prenatal yoga is safe enough to start if you have not practiced yoga before, yet in an ideal world it is of course better to prepare by practicing some yoga before getting pregnant. However, the sequences and postures used in prenatal yoga are soft and suitable for those that have and those that have not. During pregnancy your body is changing rapidly and Prenatal Yoga is a wonderful way to slow down and appreciate what your body is actually going through! After all, you are making a whole new person in there!

Prenatal yoga calms your mind and softens your breathing which is so valuable during times of anxiety and stress, which are well known to cause unwelcome and unwanted problems.
I would recommend that you do discuss with your doctor first your desire to practice prenatal Yoga, and any other forms of exercise during pregnancy, whether it be only once a week or more regularly. All forms of exercise during pregnancy are advised to be under an experts supervision for yours and your baby's safety. I recommend that you take it really easy and gently during the first trimester. Wait until your pregnancy has settled before you continue or start with more energized fitness and activity programs. Keep fit and well with activities such as walking, swimming and very gentle relaxing yoga that can encourage your pregnancy to settle and ground itself safely. Once you become more energized during your second trimester higher activity levels can commence. The third trimester will be slower again as you are much heavier and that makes you tired!

The breathing in prenatal yoga is slower than normal and more often than not is linked to a movement. These deeper and slower breaths will fill the lungs completely allowing vital oxygen and goodness to reach you and your baby. Deep breathing is a great way to calm down and relieve tension and anxiety from the body and mind, also excellent when in the middle of a row or crisis! Total exhalation and letting go of the breath allows you to feel calmer, more relaxed and afterwards more energized. Learning how to master this slower and more controlled way of breathing during prenatal yoga will help you to prepare yourself for labor, childbirth and being a new mum. Breathing will train you to stay calm when you need it most, especially during the contractions in labor, helping you to relax and let go.

Pregnant women need to practice yoga at a slower pace than usual. It is easy to get caught up in the not wanting to gain too much weight during pregnancy and wanting to stay fit by practicing at the same pace as before, but believe me, remember what your body is doing - it is making a baby and you will gain some weight like it or not. Nature designs it that way as you need the extra weight to nourish and feed your baby! Staying fit and well is vital yes but not to the point that you obsess about it! Listen to your body and avoid pushing or straining yourself beyond what you really need. Vital energy and goodness are needed for the formation of your child, not your ego!
Avoid poses that have any weight resting fully on your stomach, especially during the 2nd and 3rd Trimesters. Avoid including the Cobra and any full frontal and belly down poses!
Practicing yoga during pregnancy is a great way to enhance the possibility of birthing your baby naturally. Selected postures and movements are designed to assist in enhancing the chance of the baby moving into the optimum birthing position.

If you are sensible and careful, have checked with your doctor and do not have any reason to not practice prenatal yoga, 3 times per week would be ideal amount of sessions to try and fit in. What is important is that you listen to your body and intuition and do what feels right for you!
We are all different and no two women or their body's are the same! Listen to how 'you' feel and how 'your' body feels and then decide what you need the most! You will feel different on different days so rest when you need it, and practice yoga when you need it. No matter what, remember to breathe fully and deeply and keep energy levels up by eating well and drinking lots of water!

During your prenatal yoga sessions always take as many breaks as you need and alternate between the more challenging and relaxation poses. The hormone prolactin will be abundant in your body during pregnancy softening the joints and ligaments ready for childbirth, so it is really important to not overstretch or force into positions. Lying on your back when pregnant is always a concern. Firstly for thousands of years women have lied on their backs with no problems at all; however the reason it is not recommended today is because it does not encourage the baby to get into the optimum birthing position or to get the optimum oxygen flow from the placenta, lying on your left side does. Lying on your left side is highly recommended for sleeping and resting and it is recommended to not lie on your back after the 20th week of your pregnancy. Many women wake up on their backs and that is ok, don't panic. If you do lie on your back place something under your knees so the weight is not so dense into your back. If you do have a choice, lie on your left side.

During the second trimester your belly will begin to show and bulge (and remember all bumps are different shapes and sizes), and you will begin to detect movement from your baby. Massaging your belly is vital now to help with reducing stretch marks and to help with elasticity.
You will have more energy during this 2nd trimester so will most likely feel like doing much more, especially if you had nausea in the first trimester! This is when prenatal yoga comes into its own! Many women feel abundant and bloom during this time and prenatal yoga will help you to feel even more fabulous.

Strong standing postures are used for strength and alignment, along with squatting with the ball to help open the hips and assist with a more natural birth! Lots of mobility for the hips is needed to prepare them for birth and helps to get the baby into the correct, preferred birthing position!
In your 3rd Trimester your belly will be big! Prenatal Yoga during the 3rd trimester is all about making you feel comfortable. Your body will be continuing to expand and stretch (make sure you are massaging), and there will be much more movement from your baby which is really visible now.
This is when you need to modify poses and positions to suit you! You can use pillows between your knees, chairs, bolsters, blankets and blocks. These will help to take pressure from your lower back, legs and heart. Prenatal yoga during the third trimester helps to reduce fluid retention and cramping which can be common for women. Last and certainly not least, yoga at this point during pregnancy can shift and get the baby positioned correctly if it is not already. Certain positions really can turn baby's. It is important to mention here that you must not squat if your baby is in the breech position especially after 34 weeks!

Endless benefits include meeting other new mothers, sharing, gaining strength, gaining flexibility, relaxation and stress relief, connection to baby, time out, reduce inflammation and swelling, aid sleep, encourage better birthing position, keep fit, feel good about yourself and relief of nausea.Try it and see!

The Author of this article is Helena Bingham of http://www.mamababybliss.com a UK company that offers information, DVD's, baby massage, baby yoga, prenatal yoga, 100% natural baby products, pregnancy products & new mother gifts.

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Cant's into cans, and dreams into plans

Usually my blog post are educational and informational. This is a more personal piece describing my overwhelming gratitude to be on this journey doing exactly what I love! 

Yesterday as I stood in Inner Look, for probably the first time, I realized that I had not only taken the first steps, but that this train was now full speed ahead moving towards a grand opening (register here: http://villagematernitygrandopening.eventbrite.com/)

Never before had I experienced so much exhilaration, fear, joy, and happiness, so complexly rolled together! Would this be a success? Would anyone register for classes?? Am I READY for this??? Will it be great???? Can I help others????? Everything's lining up and in place. I'm meeting with great instructors, creating a schedule of classes, reading and working on my craft...... there's no time like the present. Carpe diem, seize the day! You can't sail the ocean without the courage to leave the shore..... RIGHT? These fears bring me back to the reason I'm doing all of this anyway!

SERVICE. It all balls down to being of service! Living in the wonderful city of Miami, FL, the only place I call home, has made me realize that, we don't have options. My goal, is to provide women of South Florida a more natural, in-tune with our bodies, put down the epidural, you can birth that baby, and sustain life the way you were created and magnificently designed to, kind of service. To empower your to be great and not afraid of pregnancy and childbirth. To create a support system, a sisterhood, a Village.  

The more I think about it, I realized, I am extremely grateful to be on this path. For taking the first, all be it, shaky. For making that decision over a year ago that I would follow my dreams. Thank you to all the people and women that have sowed into me! And to everyone woman that has allowed me to assist her, thank you.  You are helping me fulfill my life's' passion. For that; I'm  grateful. 

5 Labor Benefits of a Doula

In today’s society, a doula can benefit you in many different ways. Although these professionals do not replace your current midwife or physician, they are awesome and beneficial on a more personal level. You will be able to begin your relationship with your doula once you find out that you are pregnant. A doula is there to help you reach any goals that you have regarding the birth of your child. This type of professional can help you find child birthing classes, help you create a birth plan, and give you several different tips regarding pregnancy and the birth of your little one.

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1. Experiencing Shorter Labor
2. Less Chance of Cesarean Section (C-Section)
3. Having a Healthier Baby
4. Decreased Need for Medications
5. Lower Risk of Post-Partum Depression

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